“Yes, of course!”, you may say. When you stop and take a deeper look you may find that it’s not the case. After all, you don’t just lose your mojo and flow just like that.
You’ve no doubt heard how thoughts become things. Our thoughts and feelings aka interpretations of the situation, and reaction that follows, often originate from a need not being met. Many times from many moons ago, stuff that simply never got sorted. And sometimes these thoughts or feelings are your awareness about something not jiving.
When you’re a person who cares about “your people”, it’s so easy to put their needs before yours. And while our male/female wiring also impacts how we address our needs, maybe the “what” varies too?
In other words, for men, it may be career and providing for your family that is the main driver. For a woman that could still be the case and for many, your personal life quality, having a family, and kids may be what drives you. Or you’re single and need to provide for all aspects of your life.
Whether you’re in a relationship or single there are pros and cons with both. The level of love and overall harmony being part of that. How we show love (5 Love Languages) can be misunderstood, and your needs to give and receive vary. This too applies to work, how we show appreciation for our employees and team members.
I was watching Billions over the weekend. I’m only on season 2 but what I was observing was how people were dealing with stress and that sometimes the “good” guy really isn’t. Corruption shows up in many ways and starts with needs not being met and the actions we take.
“Never judge the book by its cover” is a saying I’ve found important to consider in all areas of life. The people that appear to have it all may not and vice versa. The question to ask “are their needs being fulfilled”?
We’re all, as individuals, responsible to explore what our needs are. While there are many tools available and helpers in your life along your journey, they can’t do it for you. And no, sticking your head in the sand and pretending that you don’t need to look at this won’t work long-term.
When you can’t be with your awareness you stuff your feelings down (pick your poison), or project it on others. Even working out, while clearing your head, doesn’t calm that inner restlessness that often stays with us until we acknowledge what it is.
When you’re in a leadership role you’d better sort out your sh$t. Inspire and empower your teams to create ROI and a winning team. Poor leadership, whether you’re a bully or corrupt is simply not OK in my book. You know that and have been on the receiving end of that which could be why you’re determined to put others first in the first place.
Have you identified what your drivers are beyond the basics?
Here are some questions for you:
- What are my dealbreakers?
- Why is this need important?
- What happens when this need is not met?
- What happens after that?
- Is there a chain reaction and impact that follows that you’d rather not embark on?
- What’s the after-effect aka impact on you or others when you don’t choose yourself?
- What can you choose instead?
It’s simple when you just look at the questions above on a sunny kind of day but when your days are cloudy and stormy, you see things in a different light. And knowing what drives you helps you nurture those needs with less drama.
Remember this, you’re unique. At least 1 in 33 million unique and that’s just your Top 5 CliftonStrengths® ranked in the same order. (Keeping in mind that your dominant talents tend to be Top 10-14). This means that you really are even more unique when you add all other factors that make you, you.
While many share similar needs your mix will look different. While not always easy, it’s important to honor you and include your needs in the best way for you while also being in tune with the needs of others.
CLICK HERE if you’re interested in working with me and exploring how you can apply your strengths to create more flow to your professional and personal life. I’m a coach and strategist for entrepreneurs, leaders, and salespeople. I help them unlock, reconnect, and ignite their inner power so they can create a life and business that they love.