Being in allowance is an interesting space to be in as it’s ever-changing. It is at times mistaken for not caring, taking action, or having any opinions which is not necessarily the case. And it includes the allowance of/for you!
As I have explored, on the journey called my life, dug deep into my being, through different personal/business growth & healing modalities, interacting and coaching people, and having read thousands of books I know that our attitude, perspectives, and choices create our reality.
The ultimate life target for me is to be the “rock in the stream/ocean” meaning that no matter what goes on around me I’ll be able to allow people’s choices to be what they are without it getting to me i.e. no POV. It may not happen in this lifetime and it starts with me. Including and taking care of me and making choices in each moment that empower and are expansive to me. This could mean choosing to be with people that add to my life, people that choose to brighten up this Planet. Ultimately being me, independent of people’s opinions of what that should look like. Some people would consider that to be selfish and not in a good way, and why is that?
So while exploring on my life journey it has always been interesting to me to see the people I cross paths with. When I was first introduced to the poem “People come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime” (see full poem below) I realized that the context of it aligned with my life philosophy in general as it really encourages allowance for one. When I take a step back, into the big picture of my life, I always find gratitude for any given situation. When I am in allowance I grow and expand my awareness. Why? The freedom that comes with being my happy self, independent of people’s choices around me is powerful for me and creates more happiness for me. Would spreading happiness be a contribution to this Planet? When I interact with people that extend allowance to me I grow and expand my awareness even more, and I feel understood (heard, seen, and acknowledged). Does it matter if we agree on the topic at hand? No.
I’m not saying that it’s easy to have people close to you that will trigger or question every part of your being and yet what often comes out of it for me is immense growth, awareness, and gratitude. And CHOICE to choose more of it or something totally different. Are triggers necessary for growth to occur? For someone like me who prioritizes fun, laughter, and play? No. Yet in today’s reality, especially in social media, it’s very common for people to speak their minds, we have freedom of speech after all, and not necessarily with kindness in mind.
Does speaking up create more? Does choosing to say nothing create more? What creates more? Is that up to each individual to choose each moment and do we? If a person is not hearing or getting you, is it because you are not being clear? Is it the words you are speaking? Who are you being? Your attitude? A combination? The energy between the people in question i.e. what is not being said? Different perspectives? All of the above? Does it matter? What will create more allowance, right now?
How do wars get started? To me it’s clear that when things get too personal and you are not being heard or understood, energy is pushed, barriers go up and the people involved stop communicating or trying, it all breaks down. The key is finding a way to convey your message in a way that bridges any perceived gap, communications that go beyond what’s right or wrong. When both parties can hear and understand each other, or one can communicate the message of possibility clearly, a dialogue opens up and agreements can be made. And while I’m far from the person equipped to manage a meditation on that scale I get that this is what happens. I know as the same happens every day with us all when in communication with other people.
When we allow people to be, no matter what “crazy” choices they may make or what they choose to say from your POV you ultimately empower and provide them with a possibility for new awarenesses. You can try to “force” or “push” people to be or do what you need and really what does that ultimately create? Closeness or separation? How often does judgment aka pushing your projected POV’s create something greater? What awareness and allowance could you choose instead?
So who says what’s “right or wrong”? What if right & wrong is all about what a group of people agreed on? Could what’s true for you be more important? Could what’s true for you be completely different than what you thought? Would spreading joy, laughter, love, gratitude create more? What are your priorities? What if you dropped your barriers (see gratitude post) and simply ask yourself “is this true for me?” when you receive projected POV’s? Would that provide you with the awareness of what actually is true for you? Will you choose to stand in your truth, for yourself? What would that create for you? Even if that means turning around and walking away? 🙂
“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person…
“When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. “Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
“Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
“LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.”