Humility, what is that?

Humility, what is that?

What does humility and being humble really look like in your world and how do you express it? Is there a specific way of being that automatically has you be seen as humble? And if you are including your needs into the equation does that mean that you are not humble? That you are ego driven or selfish? Does being humble make you a better person? Is it your authentic expression or the desired behavior? And if you are not expressing it the way someone else thinks it “should be,” does it mean that you are not humble? Are you humble with all people?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines humility as “the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people: the quality or state of being humble.”

So does that mean that you are not humble if you think you are awesome and aware of people not being so awesome? If you acknowledge your special talents or could it mean that other people are also talented whether they have chosen that or not? Can you be aware of people making interesting choices and still be humble? Is there a need for individuals to “be or express it” in a specific way for it to be considered “humble”? Does speaking up mean that you are not humble? Are you humble in all areas of life or select areas? And if you are humble does that automatically mean that you suppress your needs in lieu of something bigger?

In many areas of the world, it’s important to not think that you are any better than anyone else resulting in many holding back on their talents & gifts for a variety of reasons. Choosing to comply and blend in while dying inside, how sad is that?

Definitions sure are interesting. Are definitions the truth and are there room for different interpretations? And in the end, does it matter? To me, words and definitions can often limit who a person is and who they are not, most of us change and grow after all. And at other times there are words that match an energy smack on that can generate and open up new conversations, awarenesses, and realms of possibilities. In the end, who you are being, moment by moment, how you show up, if you are being true to yourself, is that not what matters? The full experience of you? Even if the experience of you will be different for different people?

And if/when we express our greatness, do we not inspire others to do the same? And when we express what we love to do are we not often happy and connected? [insert your mood] What would our planet look like if we all tapped into what truly makes us happy? Whether I’m seen as humble or not, I will choose to be me, express me, have fun and spread as much joy and laughter as I can, how about you? What have you chosen so far? Is there something else that you can choose that would bring you more of your greatness?

What gift are you that you haven’t yet chosen to be? What energy do you have to contribute to the Earth?
– Gary Douglas, Access Consciousness®

What does it mean to be in allowance?

What does it mean to be in allowance?

Being in allowance is an interesting space to be in as it’s ever-changing. It is at times mistaken for not caring, taking action or having any opinions which is not necessarily the case. And it includes the allowance of/for you!

As I have explored, on the journey called my life, dug deep into my being, through different personal/business growth & healing modalities, interacting and coaching people and having read thousands of books I know that our attitude, perspectives, and choices create our reality.

The ultimate life target for me is to be the “rock in the stream/ocean” meaning that no matter what goes on around me I’ll be able to allow people’s choices to be what they are without it getting to me i.e. no POV. It may not happen in this lifetime and it starts with me. Including and taking care of me and making choices in each moment that empower and are expansive to me. This could mean choosing to be with people that add to my life, people that choose to brighten up this Planet. Ultimately being me, independent of what people’s opinions of what that should look like. Some people would consider that to be selfish and not in a good way, and why is that?

So while exploring on my life journey it has always been interesting to me to see the people I cross paths with. When I was first introduced to the poem “People come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime” (see full poem below) I realized that the context of it aligned with my life philosophy in general as it really encourages allowance for one. When I take a step back, into the big picture of my life, I always find gratitude for any given situation. When I am in allowance I grow and expand my awareness. Why? The freedom that comes with being my happy self, independent of people’s choices around me is powerful for me and creates more happiness for me. Would spreading happiness be a contribution to this Planet? When I interact with people that extend allowance to me I grow and expand my awareness even more, and I feel understood (heard, seen and acknowledged). Does it matter if we agree on the topic at hand? No.

I’m not saying that it’s easy to have people close to you that will trigger or question every part of your being and yet what often comes out of it for me is immense growth, awareness, and gratitude. And CHOICE to choose more of it or something totally different. Are triggers necessary for growth to occur? For someone like me who prioritizes fun, laughter and play? No. Yet in today’s reality, especially in social media, it’s very common for people to speak their mind, we have freedom of speech after all, and not necessarily with kindness in mind.

Does speaking up create more? Does choosing to say nothing create more? What creates more? Is that up to each individual to choose each moment and do we? If a person is not hearing or getting you, is it because you are not being clear? Is it the words you are speaking? Who are you being? Your attitude? A combination? The energy between the people in question i.e. what is not being said? Different perspectives? All of the above?  Does it matter? What will create more allowance, right now?

How do wars get started? To me it’s clear that when things get too personal and you are not being heard or understood, energy is pushed, barriers go up and the people involved stop communicating or trying, it all breaks down. They key is finding a way to convey your message in a way that bridges any perceived gap, communications that go beyond what’s right or wrong. When both parties can hear and understand each other, or one can communicate the message of possibility clearly, a dialogue opens up and agreements can be made. And while I’m far from the person equipped to manage a meditation on that scale I get that this is what happens. I know as the same happens every day with us all when in communication with other people.

When we allow people to be, no matter what “crazy” choices they may make or what they choose to say from your POV you ultimately empower and provide them with a possibility for new awarenesses. You can try to “force” or “push” people to be or do what you need and really what does that ultimately create? Closeness or separation? How often does judgment aka pushing your projected POV’s create something greater? What awareness and allowance could you choose instead?

So who says what’s “right or wrong”? What if right & wrong is all about what a group of people agreed on? Could what’s true for you be more important? Could what’s true for you be completely different than what you thought? Would spreading joy, laughter, love, gratitude create more? What are your priorities? What if you dropped your barriers (see gratitude post) and simply ask yourself “is this true for me?” when you receive projected POV’s? Would that provide you with the awareness for what actually is true for you? Will you choose to stand in your truth, for you? What would that create for you? Even if that means turning around and walking away? 🙂

“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person…

“When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. “Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

“Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

“LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.”

— Unknown

Gratitude and more

Gratitude and more

The power of gratitude never seizes to amaze me. From one moment to the next you can shift the focus of an apparent judgment by simply asking “what can I be grateful for right now?”. And other times while it’s an easy action you still go down the rabbit hole feeling judged and [head/heart/crotch] tripping about yourself, someone or something. So now what? A timeout may of course often be the ideal scenario and when that is not an option? 

Once I catch myself and realize that I got hooked I tend to take a couple of deep breaths and move my body which in itself creates space. I then drop my barriers and imagine my inner space increasing beyond this planet and start to ask questions. Dropping my barriers allows the energy projected at me to flow right by. Asking questions allows me to be or shift into a state of gratitude with ease.

Questions like “who does this belong to? Is this even mine?“ [Hint: if you perceive a heavy energy when asking this it’s not yours meaning that you picked it up from someone else and can simply say “return to sender with awareness attached”]. It’s very interesting to me how little actually belongs to me… When that question doesn’t clear things asking “what’s right about this that I’m not getting?” or “Interesting point of view I/he/she/they have this point of view” [repeat as needed] tends to unhook me and also allow me to receive the awareness of what’s really going on.

Who we keep close to us is important and we live on a planet with 7.3 billion people so unless we plan on sitting on a mountaintop then maybe using tools that empower would be beneficial? And there are so many to choose from, pick one that works for you! 🙂

It’s in recent years that I have started to acknowledge how much I pick up from people around me, and how crazy it now appears that I ever bought them as mine, wow! And how about the energy of people that are demanding your attention? This goes for getting sucked into browsing the Internet and watching TV too! 

How often do you speak up or excuse yourself and simply walk away from conversations without making yourself wrong? No matter who it is or why? Or turn off the TV/smartphone when or before you get the awareness of “enough already!”? Would you be willing to if it gave you the space to be and regroup if only for a few minutes?

It’s so easy to get hooked and lose focus on what’s important to you when you are around people with different styles and needs of communication. On the other hand, is giving up who you are, and the contribution you are to this world “worth it” for you or anyone else?

It’s easy to take things personally when someone close to you appears to critique or project judgment towards you and what I have found is the more I can be with the judgment without getting hooked, the more I have of me. And what are the triggers really? Programmed points of views tied to values and beliefs that were not necessarily ours, to begin with. Do you ever stop and ask yourself when you get triggered if the belief/value is actually yours?

It’s not necessarily comfortable to be vulnerable when people don’t get you and have an opinion about who you are or should be. That is when dropping your barriers and receiving the judgment ends up being something really empowering  [See this awesome video with Blossom illustrating this]. As with most things in life, practice helps 🙂

What would it be like if we all could drop our barriers, be space and stay grateful no matter what? What kind of world would we be able to create? We do have the power to choose after all, no matter what, in every moment and then choose something different. And when you can be you no matter what and start tapping into gratitude for the person, situation, what happened/said, etc. wow! To continually focus on receiving & clearing the energy and then shifting that into gratitude so many possibilities present themselves.

So who or what can you be grateful for right now? What can you be grateful for about YOU and YOUR BODY right now?